Is your house up to code?

Untitled drawing (1).jpgThis took me way too long to make so you better enjoy it.

Do you have a sign on the wall that says THERE ARE NO RATS IN THIS HOME?
You can provide a taxidermy case on the wall with the only rat that was ever in the house as well as a sign with story of the rat and how it’s the only rat that was ever in your house.
You’ve gone the extra mile and provided us with proof. Thank you. Now we know for sure there are NO rats.
I do not have a sign on the wall that says THERE ARE NO RATS IN THIS HOME.
How will anyone now you don’t have rats in your house? This is a disgrace to the business of owning a house.
I have a sign on the wall that says THERE ARE NO RATS IN THIS HOME.
Great job. You didn’t provide proof but I guess it’s alright. Everyone knows you don’t have rats and that’s the way it should be.
Does your wall have a lot of bumps in it?
No it doesn’t, I pity the people with wall bumps
That’s great as long as you still have your central wall bump.
Yes it does and I don’t know what to do.
Something is wrong with your house and your life. Get help.
Yes they were an artistic choice.
At this company we put priority on artistic choices. You passed.
Do you have intricate satanic murals painted on your fridge?
Yes, who doesn’t?
Great answer. You passed
No, who does?
You’re an ignorant fool. You don’t pass.
Has an airplane ever flown through the roof of your house?
No I’ve never had an airplane fly through my house.
That’s alright but how do we know your house isn’t a wimp? You passed for now but we might commission an airplane to fly through your roof.
Yes and it damaged it badly.
Terrible. Awful. You do NOT pass and I advise you to stop this qui and work on your issues right now.
Yes but my house is not a wimp. The airplane got blown to smithereens as soon as it hit the roof.
This is the best answer. You’ve provided us solid proof your house is not a wimp.
How many burglar alarms do you have?
This is the perfect number of alarms. No one can ever burglar you. You passed.
Too few. You are going to get ROBBED living like this.
What are burglar alarms? I just sit by my door all night every night with my automatic.
I’m glad you’re so dedicated but that doesn’t work. Ninjas wear black so you can’t see them and then they karate chop your head and steal your wife’s really expensive dentures.
How many concerts (of any sie) have you held in your house?
Good. You know how to party but you haven’t stressed your house out too much. You pass.
I’ve lost count.
Hm I’m afraid that’s not going to cut it. You’ve probably seriously damaged your house at this point. You don’t pass.
None. Concerts are against my religion.
That’s unacceptable. You’re never going to get anywhere not knowing how to party. You don’t pass.
Not enough. Your house is an uncultured buffoon. You don’t pass.
What are the railings in your house made out of?
10k gold of course!
You’ve passed with flying colors! Everyone knows that only rich people own houses and this will show off how rich you are.
Ice of course!
Ice is just going to melt and then your floor will be wet. This is a terrible answer and you don’t pass.
Wood of course!
Are you stupid? Wood is the poor man’s hand rail. You don’t pass.
Diamonds of course!
YES! This is even better than gold. It adds to your house’s structural integrity and makes sure everyone knows you are rich. You pass.
Have you ever, I repeat EVER had a tiger infestation in your house?
No! I have NEVER had a TIGER infestation!
Good for you. You pass.
Yes, sadly. The neighbors down the road got one through suspicious circumstances and then all the sudden we got one through suspicious circumstances. Suspicious if you ask me.
Too suspicious. You don’t pass.
Is your property a horse ranch
Terrible. Terrible. You and your family should be ashamed. You do not pass.
Awesome. Your house is up to code! You pass.
Yes but the horses are wild.
You’re pushing it but you still pass.
If your house is in America (which it should be), do you have an eagle statue above your doorway?
Yes, it came with the house.
I don’t see much patriotism here but at least you have one. You pass.
No, I hate America.
Wow. I am disgusted. You do not pass.
Yes, I had it hand carved by the most American person I know, the founding fathers! Except for the founding fathers are dead so I went to mount rushmore and took a piece of wood with me. Then I climbed down the cliff until I got to where their heads are and rubbed the wood away into the perfect American eagle.
Amazing dedication. We condone this level of patriotism to the highest extent. You PASS.

If you got more than five right your house passed!

Wow! Did your house pass the inspection?

One thought on “Is your house up to code?

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