Today’s News From 1897

These are from August 2nd because for some reason nobody had any from August 1st


Over A Precipice

College Professor Dashed to Death.


The entire police force of Kalamazoo are to be mounted on bicycles in the near future. “It takes a thief to catch a thief, ” and it takes a bicycle to catch a bicycle.


Battle Creek Is flooded with counterfeit money.


A Bronson man has a fig tree with a good crop of figs on it are ripening


Greenville young ladies have leap frog parties.


These are the day when lucky men. Whom nature has built thin, Do meet their obese brethren. And grin, and grin, and grin. —Cincinnati Enquirer







Those people who may be unfortunate enough to have taken to artificial teeth should use exceeding circumspection when they go down to the sea in ships. ‘What a splendid dentist sea sickness is! I had the whole of my teeth pulled out at one vomit,” said a patient to the doctor one morning. Several dentists have stated that it is by no means an uncommon occurrence for persons to finish a voyage in a practically toothless condition.

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